You're right, having no direction or meaning means one's life is pointless. On top of that, it becomes difficult to change if one has no motivation as well because there's just nothing there to begin with. You feel alone because your mind is above it all. Seeing things in a perspective where no one can really judge you because you just need to shrug on their comments and the conversation goes stone dead. Typical.
"You're a kind hearted person, yet you feel like all you do is cause trouble. Its not the loneliness that kills you but the fact that you're so depressed, you isolate yourself to be lonely and you trap yourself to feel lost without a purpose. You care about everyone in this world of ours and yet some people still have the nerve to get on your back."
At this point, I want whoever who's reading this to get this etched in their minds, START LEARNING TO MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. Seriously, I EFFING hate that. Love to get your hands stuck in 'deep shit' so much? Do it else where, really. Thank you.
I wish for that special moment in time when I meet that girl who will revolutionize my life, so we can both live and be complete. Is it wrong for me to think that all I should be doing is volunteering and searching for my soul mate?
People tell me to grow up, but I can't, I've a feeling why but can never admit to myself. I do care a lot but this depression makes me not care about anything anymore.
Are you still out there? It really breaks my heart seeing you behaving this way, but this too shall pass. I'm sure you're not mentioning people in your life that would be at loss if you were gone. You probably don't even realize the people you touch everyday. Just try to continue to put kindness in the world and hopefully happiness or at least a break from misery will come sooner than later.
It is sad when you see the true thoughts people harbor upon you. When you thought that you could just be yourself around people only to find out that they are secretly judging you. Those who have, have no room to judge.
I don't really like change much, somehow it threatens me. I like to think of myself as adaptable and flexible, but in reality I think I've become settled in my own ways, maybe its something to do with getting older, whatever it is I don't like it in myself, but its there, always have been.
It seem to be the same in all areas of my life, just that I don't notice the change. Don't get me wrong, most of the time I'm quite happy with my life, and I can't blame anyone for my life, life is what you make it as, but I'm beginning to wonder whether I've lost the ability to change it, to turn it around, have I left it too late to get it undone?
I wish...
- That I could be turned upside down and shaken until every bad thing fell out of me.
- That I could be turned inside out and scraped so that every tainted thought can be removed.
The world is a sick place and its only getting worse.
People are out spending fortunes on gifts for people who already have so much. People are out drinking and smoking their money away. People are selling their bodies in order to get more money for more drugs...or just to feed their families. People are on the front line "fighting" a war (that some big politicians started)...getting injured and left with very little compensation. The earth and nature is suffering due to pollution.
I wish I know that I could do to make a difference. I wish I had the guts to be bolder.
Hey, I can't be everything to everyone.
Maybe you like me, maybe not. It doesn't really matter.
Well, such is life.
"At the end of the day, nobody gives a fuck, so why expect people to care anyway? I'm a bad person, I'm a weak person, I'm a sinful person with evil desires. I don't deserve any sympathy at all."
Unfortunately, it doesn't kill the pain.
Hurt have been done, one can forgive but not forget. The relationship we once shared is no longer the same. This is not how I thought things would be. This is not how I wanted things to be. I don't know if I can explain what exactly is wrong but something is.
Let all of this stop right here and then alright? No more, please.
Make this a "valuable" lesson for you and me, all of us, I really can't "afford" for us to go through this a second time.
Dey, remember what I've said, always. Never give up on someone you can't go a day without thinking about. Stand by you. (:
"You can forgive someone almost anything. But you cannot tolerate everything...we don't have to tolerate what people do just because we forgive them for doing it. Forgiving heals us personally. To tolerate everything only hurts us all in the long run."